lobisin.blogg.se

• #Warped reality challenge skin

But if you do so, you’ll end up liking them even less and become an increasingly angry a-hole.

The easiest way to resolve this dissonance is to find ways to blame the other person for inciting your anger. “The things I just said or did to that person were not good.”.When you act in anger toward someone, it compels you to self-justify what you’ve done to reduce the dissonance between: Here are a few common self-justifications that Mistakes Were Made‘s Aronson and Tavris warn us to watch out for in our everyday lives: Anger Anti-Self-Justification Strategy #2: Know when to be on high alert. It’s an entertaining read and one of my favorite “sledgehammer” books that changed my thinking. The higher your score, the more self-deceptive you tend to be.Īnd if you still won’t admit you have a self-justification problem?Ĭonsider reading Mistakes Were Made, But Not By Me by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson. Once I’ve made up my mind, other people can seldom change my opinion.įor each question, give yourself one point for answering 6 or 7.I don’t care to know what other people really think of me.Or try this quick self-assessment from the University of British Columbia’s Del Paulhus: 1 I found it in this Wall Street Journal article on self-justificationĪnswer the following on a seven-point scale, with 1 being “not true,” 4 being “somewhat true,” and 7 being “very true”: They shouldn’t have any problem pointing out the lies and excuses your ego’s using to baby your identity. And it’s hard to accept that your precious identity is a fragile pansy living in a warped reality.īut if you don’t, you’re doomed to descend further and further down the vicious vortex of self-justification.Īnd what if you can’t find evidence of blatant acts of self-justification?Īsk trusted demotivational speakers like your spouse, friends, family, or colleagues for help. Yes, it’s hard to admit your well-meaning mommy of an ego’s lies and excuses are hurting you. Anti-Self-Justification Strategy #1: Admit you have a problem. This vicious vortex turns us into the increasingly deluded, oversensitive sissies most of us are today. The more your identity feels attacked, the harder your ego works to protect it.The more shielded your identity, the more sensitive it becomes.The stronger your ego, the more it shields your identity from reality.

It’s as if the cognitive dissonance never happened. Time passes, memories get muddled, and your identity forgets about your ego’s interventions. When lies and excuses aren’t enough, your ego continues to console your trembling, ever-delicate identity by seeking evidence in your favor, discarding incriminating evidence, and embellishing your memories. Your overbearing mommy of an ego comes to the rescue, stepping in front of your quaking identity to resolve its cognitive dissonance with lies and excuses. The second you experience or do something inconsistent with your identity’s coddled sense of reality, your identity quakes in fear. Quick Refresher: The 4-Step Self-Justification Vortexīefore getting to preventative measures, here’s a quick run-through of How Self-Justification Messes With Your Everyday Life: Step 1: Cognitive dissonance. See more explanation and examples of how self-justification messes with your reality. It’s not easy, especially if your identity’s as overprotected by your ego as most people’s these days.

#Warped reality challenge skin

Statements with any hint of truth in them feel like slaps to the sunburnt skin of your coddled, super-sensitive little identity.